By Dianne Ace
In March, members participated in a workshop entitled "What Do You Think? A Conversation about Conversations". Our guest speakers, Debra Hughey and Maureen Underwood, led the group on an exploratory journey to learn how to have a conversation with others who do not share our opinions.
Before her retirment, Debra worked at Baylor, Scott and White as vice president of Information Technology where she was charged with finding solutions to issues between medical staff and the technology staff. Maureen was the Director of Diversity for McDonalds and worked in the HR department at Starbucks. Their corporate experiences have led them to help others learn to communicate effectively and civilly.
Debra opened her presentation with the question "How many of you are looking forward to the conversations in the next eight months?"
Before entering a discussion, Debra advised that you should know why you believe what you believe. You should make sure you have fully researched the issue so that your opinions are based on data, facts and sound reasoning.
She also explained that you should be willing to acknowledge your own biases. Everyone is biased. "Acknowledging biases is the first step towards a constructive conversation".
Another important step, Debra said, is to "practice strategic listening. We should be doing more listening instead of talking." She added that, "an argument has winners and losers, a conversation has participants."
You need to learn to allow space for disagreement and be able to concede when you are wrong.
Debra ended her presentation with a quote from the book "I Think You Are Wrong But I Am Listening" by Sara Sterwart Holland and Beth Silvers:
"Whatever side of the issues you are on, the most important thing to know about the polarization in American politics today is that we are choosing it. We are choosing division. We are choosing conflict. We are choosing to turn our civic sphere into a circus. We are choosing all of this and we can choose otherwise."
The members left the meeting with information which should allow them to engage in better and more productive conversations. They learned strategies that will allow them to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.
The next Voices United meeting will be held on Saturday, April 6 at 11:30 in the Patriot Room of the Clubhouse.